. :Bitter Heart: .

 

“Reclaiming

your passion.

As though, to say,

it was stolen from you?”

 

A moment passes between us,

and you brush my hair away from my eyes

casually,

fingertips lingering briefly

against my naked ear.

Your smile is warm enough,

but behind it,

hidden,

in the darkest corner,

I see discontent.

When did we pass

between the atmosphere of companionship,

to the weighted minutes

in counting each other’s heartbeats?

When did a breath become a heavy sigh,

and behind my tight-lipped smile,

sit a row of pointed teeth

prepared to gnash?

 

There is an anger about you.”

Don’t worry…

I feel it, too.

 

– Savannah

 

 

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. :Not Everything is as it Seems: .

 

 

I fantasize about

the death behind your eyes.

The tiny wisps

of screaming madness.

I cling to them,

like a martyr

to her sadness.

 

I watch you struggle

with your broken pieces

The inner demons

fighting for control.

I hear the slithering of their underbellies

in the sandy desert.

The mocking laughter behind the closed door.

The infinitesimal screaming

from the deafened child

waiting for his mother,

crying out in the darkness.

 

I see these things,

and touch your shoulder.

A brush of fingers.

I can do no more.

 

– Savannah

 

. :Disquieted: .

 

Smoke drifts lazily

from the end of your cigarette

in a casual upward spiral.

Behind us,

the clock ticks the minutes past

and a hunk of ash falls from the incense

into a gilded tray.

Your fingers brush through my hair

pausing only briefly

when the music stops,

filled by the dissonant whispers of a silenced record.

Your brows furrow

in what appears to be confusion

as though you’re slowly coming back to reality

from the distant tenderness you attempted to express.

I light another cigarette for you

and reset the record.

In return, I am rewarded

with the gentlility

of your fingers against my cheek.

And then you’re gone again.

 

– Savannah

 

. : Forgiveness : .

My breaths roll

in slow, heavy puffs of air

outward,

like the repeated gasps of the wounded.

My hands shake

as I am only

just beginning to notice

that I can use them again.

I feel the weighted press

of your words

as though

I was only just hearing them.

And from the distance,

comes a mournful keen;

“Do you love me, still?”

 

– Savannah

.:Narcissa:.

 

Why do I keep seeing your face,

flash before my eyes?

Why does my head,

feel like it’s constantly on fire?

Why is it only when I try to rest,

that all the things I know are best

suddenly mean nothing?

 

Can you hear me screaming?

What’s wrong with the dream that I’ve been weaving?

Four years set out to discover you and myself,

bent, broken, and twisted

still alive but in Hell.

I’ve discovered Patience

but little else.

 

Before you can judge me

for crying out subtly

don’t forget that it was you who built this escape

even as I tried to erase it

replacing the snide remarks and comments

with compliments and honest prospects.

The clock is ticking but I can’t forget

this eerie feeling of regret,

Like I’ve been shattered and resewn

to the point that any little thing

might just set me off.

 

I see you shrinking back,

don’t be afraid!

I know it isn’t courage that you lack.

“Feeling jealous?”

Nah –

That’s just the scent of rage

filtered through a gilded cage

that I know I created for myself. 

 

 

Can you hear me screaming?

What’s wrong with the dream that I’ve been weaving?

Twenty-three years to discover myself,

bent, broken, and twisted

still alive but in Hell.

I’ve discovered Apathy

but little else.

 

Excuse me?

Just a moment, just a word of your time.

Oops.

That came out wrong.

Let me start over re-performing every word of your song,

But I won’t dance!

See? There’s a chance

that even in this empty shell

a Girl can still thrive in her self-created Hell.

 

– Savannah

.:Serendipity:.

She was Starlight,

Dancing her way across the Cosmos,

Her fingertips, trailing the Milky Way.

She was Life,

Each breath a moment,

Giving in to the momentum,

Of a single unwavering glance.

She was Joy,

The sweet and breathy laughter,

Of a summer’s eve.

The unending, unwavering smile,

Plastered on a sweetened face.

She was Clarity,

Bright eyes and melodious tenor.

The cadence of a name,

Spoken in hushed tones.

 

“When shall you call again?”

I bequeath the words with honor.

 

– Savannah

. : Cure : .

I sway to the drumbeat,

to which you dare not move your feet.

To the rhythm of an old life,

carried on the back of strife.

Know this, and all is well;

“Cleanse the soul, and space, and home,

and wrap your arms around yourself, with love,

to know that one day soon it shall come to pass,

your heart will grow, three times as fast.

To give love to those we seek,

we must first be the love we need.”

 

Sing your chants of love, and repeat,

for we are one with all we seek.

Be that mountain, that stream, that glory.

Fill your heart and soul with joy.

Be free, dear Bird,

be free in flight,

and know that all things shall come to rights, in Heaven’s eyes.

 

Blessed be.

– Savannah

. :Rest Easy: .

 

The slow burn of a candle,

like my heart for thee.

The striking of a match to light it,

like the one I gave to thee.

The indecision in a moment’s glance,

just as the one I hold for thee.

Cannot compare

it seems,

to the feeling of seeing you once more…

If only in my dreams.

“Take pains. Be perfect. Adieu.”

– Savannah

. :Cry, Wolf: .

I let the wound fester, and rot.

I felt the need to watch it decay.

To pick at the edges of the scabs,

just as it began to heal,

only to open it up again.

In the end, I knew,

no matter what –

you would walk away broken.

I would tear a hole in you so deep and wide,

it would never be filled.

Because I showed you kindness.

Because I showed you love.

Because I knew you’d never accept it.

 

Son of Air –

I fell for your tricks.

I fell for your deceit. 

I ate your lies, gobbled your half-truths. 

Laughed at your wit and knew you to be intelligent.

And all the while, every facsimile of intuition screamed at me to walk away.

But I ignored,

I denied,

I walked right past myself and waved…

Only to see you on the other side.

To give you the good, to know only good.

To feel only good.

I watched your smile and matched it,

watched your moves and copied them,

praying; “Is this what love is?

But behind my eyes,

She laughed at me –

Knowing the answers.

Now –

I see you,

I know you,

I understand you.

And now at last,

my only prayer,

is for your peace.

May you find it on your journey.

– Savannah

.:The Only Way to Dream:.

Delight me in your agony,

Sweetly captured in your apathy,

Don’t mind the pull of my gravity,

I’ll be your greatest vaccine.

 

Images in lilac,

Breaking in and bleeding fast.

You’re a danger to my armistice,

Like a surrender without the flag.

 

I’ll paint the colors of your rainbow,

Just don’t forget to sing my song.

And there’s where I’ll remember you,

Like innocence gone wrong.

– Savannah