.:Narcissa:.

 

Why do I keep seeing your face,

flash before my eyes?

Why does my head,

feel like it’s constantly on fire?

Why is it only when I try to rest,

that all the things I know are best

suddenly mean nothing?

 

Can you hear me screaming?

What’s wrong with the dream that I’ve been weaving?

Four years set out to discover you and myself,

bent, broken, and twisted

still alive but in Hell.

I’ve discovered Patience

but little else.

 

Before you can judge me

for crying out subtly

don’t forget that it was you who built this escape

even as I tried to erase it

replacing the snide remarks and comments

with compliments and honest prospects.

The clock is ticking but I can’t forget

this eerie feeling of regret,

Like I’ve been shattered and resewn

to the point that any little thing

might just set me off.

 

I see you shrinking back,

don’t be afraid!

I know it isn’t courage that you lack.

“Feeling jealous?”

Nah –

That’s just the scent of rage

filtered through a gilded cage

that I know I created for myself. 

 

 

Can you hear me screaming?

What’s wrong with the dream that I’ve been weaving?

Twenty-three years to discover myself,

bent, broken, and twisted

still alive but in Hell.

I’ve discovered Apathy

but little else.

 

Excuse me?

Just a moment, just a word of your time.

Oops.

That came out wrong.

Let me start over re-performing every word of your song,

But I won’t dance!

See? There’s a chance

that even in this empty shell

a Girl can still thrive in her self-created Hell.

 

– Savannah

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.:Serendipity:.

She was Starlight,

Dancing her way across the Cosmos,

Her fingertips, trailing the Milky Way.

She was Life,

Each breath a moment,

Giving in to the momentum,

Of a single unwavering glance.

She was Joy,

The sweet and breathy laughter,

Of a summer’s eve.

The unending, unwavering smile,

Plastered on a sweetened face.

She was Clarity,

Bright eyes and melodious tenor.

The cadence of a name,

Spoken in hushed tones.

 

“When shall you call again?”

I bequeath the words with honor.

 

– Savannah

. : Cure : .

I sway to the drumbeat,

to which you dare not move your feet.

To the rhythm of an old life,

carried on the back of strife.

Know this, and all is well;

“Cleanse the soul, and space, and home,

and wrap your arms around yourself, with love,

to know that one day soon it shall come to pass,

your heart will grow, three times as fast.

To give love to those we seek,

we must first be the love we need.”

 

Sing your chants of love, and repeat,

for we are one with all we seek.

Be that mountain, that stream, that glory.

Fill your heart and soul with joy.

Be free, dear Bird,

be free in flight,

and know that all things shall come to rights, in Heaven’s eyes.

 

Blessed be.

– Savannah

. :Rest Easy: .

 

The slow burn of a candle,

like my heart for thee.

The striking of a match to light it,

like the one I gave to thee.

The indecision in a moment’s glance,

just as the one I hold for thee.

Cannot compare

it seems,

to the feeling of seeing you once more…

If only in my dreams.

“Take pains. Be perfect. Adieu.”

– Savannah

. :Cry, Wolf: .

I let the wound fester, and rot.

I felt the need to watch it decay.

To pick at the edges of the scabs,

just as it began to heal,

only to open it up again.

In the end, I knew,

no matter what –

you would walk away broken.

I would tear a hole in you so deep and wide,

it would never be filled.

Because I showed you kindness.

Because I showed you love.

Because I knew you’d never accept it.

 

Son of Air –

I fell for your tricks.

I fell for your deceit. 

I ate your lies, gobbled your half-truths. 

Laughed at your wit and knew you to be intelligent.

And all the while, every facsimile of intuition screamed at me to walk away.

But I ignored,

I denied,

I walked right past myself and waved…

Only to see you on the other side.

To give you the good, to know only good.

To feel only good.

I watched your smile and matched it,

watched your moves and copied them,

praying; “Is this what love is?

But behind my eyes,

She laughed at me –

Knowing the answers.

Now –

I see you,

I know you,

I understand you.

And now at last,

my only prayer,

is for your peace.

May you find it on your journey.

– Savannah

.:The Only Way to Dream:.

Delight me in your agony,

Sweetly captured in your apathy,

Don’t mind the pull of my gravity,

I’ll be your greatest vaccine.

 

Images in lilac,

Breaking in and bleeding fast.

You’re a danger to my armistice,

Like a surrender without the flag.

 

I’ll paint the colors of your rainbow,

Just don’t forget to sing my song.

And there’s where I’ll remember you,

Like innocence gone wrong.

– Savannah

.:Split Screen and Technicolor:.

 

When am I just the words on your screen? 

The buttons pushed in distant thought? 

When does my absence mean something?

If anything at all?

 

Ah ~

There’s nothing to be frightened of.

Those creatures in their nightly reverie,

reveal so much when in their revelry,

about the hidden psyche buried deeply.

 

Ah ~

There’s nothing to be frightened of.

These brushstrokes speak nothing of you, love.

And sadness is but a color on my palette.

 

But somewhere,

fading in the distance,

is the platonic intelligence I once admired,

before unfurling my canvas,

and striking brush to color.

But now, erase me,

if I mean so little.

 

You’ll find me in the Neverland,

For I am one of Them.

 

– Savannah

Erase me, if I mean so little. Sometimes absence says what words cannot.

.:Temple:.

Incense smoke drifts through open air,

the scent of honey fills my senses,

mixing with the apple on my altar,

to create a wondrous sense of peace.

Clarity means having an open mind,

and bottomless heart.

Show me the lessons,

as I seek them in your company.

The hum of energy from the crystals,

meshes with the sound of a tiny, tinkling bell.

The chalice touches my lips,

and a warmth spreads through my veins.

I raise the glass in acknowledgement,

and another wave of peace fills me,

crashing like the tide to shore.

An hourglass marks my time,

the sand slowing as I close my eyes.

Your presence marks the beginning of my meditative state.

And once again, I feel whole.

– Savannah

Happy International Witches Day *

Whether you identify as a Witch or not (as I do not), it is a good day to delve into the magic of Earth and revel in her energy. Find peace and clarity with nature, and self. Read into the history of witches, or simply enjoy the day. There is much to understand, still, and much to come. 

Have a blessed day!

.:Swept Away:.

The sand slips between my fingers,

like time in a weighted hourglass.

I see the past in slow motion;

Children running,

playing,

and laughing.

How many were here before me?

The question hangs in open air,

I see the words as incandescent writing circling ’round my head.

A couple walks the beach slowly,

and I see what could be –

The good and bad.

I slow the visions of my life as air fills my lungs at last.

A friend kneels above me, calling my name.

His voice I no longer recognize.

I hear it, as though through water.

His face is a blank mask.

I see no eyes, no mouth, no nose.

Who are you?

The words float above me.

If I am but a memory,

Please,

Don’t forget to remember me.

 

– Savannah

.:Kintsukuroi:.

 

“…I’m just another story, not worth a reading.”

Touching the glass ceiling,

I remember the sound of your breathing

in the moment you were sleeping next to me.

When did I lose that clarity?

When did absence mean hostility?

Am I still capable of charity?

Superficial,

I touch the wounds,

watching them heal.

I know at last that each moment spent with you

is that much more real,

when you turn to me,

just to say:

I’m proud of you.”

But you don’t know,

that under my breath I reply:

So am I.

-Savannah

*Dear Reader,

Kintsukuroi (or Kintsugi), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. I felt the word befitting for the title of a poem referring to healing from self-harm.

Know that you are not alone… Ever. If the only thing you do today is hold yourself together, know that I am proud of you. You did it! You may not know it…But you have the strength to keep on fighting, to keep on going. You are loved, and cared for, and wanted, and needed in this world. So keep going. Keep doing, keep being, and stay beautiful. Have a blessed day! And pass on the love to those closest to you. They may need it and you don’t even know it yet.*